Lou
Lou Mario, or simply Lou, is a middle-aged penguin that lives on Comet Lolz with his best friend, Roslyn. He was orphaned shortly after he was hatched, and fell into a BOF entrance. BOF goons raised him and, eventually, they "accidently" set him free in 2000, where he and Roslyn settled on the comet. Benny, amazingly, didn't figure this out for years, convienently learning this shortly after being sedated in 2010. Background In 1992, Lou hatched to a kind family who believed in the traditional method of chick raising. The father had kept Lou's egg on his feet as he wondered around since 1991. Sadly, Lou's mother died shortly after laying Lou's egg, and his distraught father was left alone with the egg. The egg eventually hatched, and Lou spen the first year of his life with his father. Sadly, his father also died- eaten by a whale -leaving Lou alone. Lou, not know exactly what happened, waddled around until he happened to fall into a BOF entrance. The BOF employees there saw the chick in the facility, but knew he wasn't old enough to remember what he was seeing. They pulled up his file and noticed what had happened to him up to this point. Saddened (and a bit ticked at Benny for killing off a family to create a new employee), the employees quite literally took young Lou under their wings (or flippers) and raised him in the BOF. Lou quickly became a BOF mastermind, gifted with extensive knowledge of machinaru. However, at superior's orders, they kept him out of the loop, so he didn't fully udnerstand where he was or what he was working on. He was very low on the Fourth Wall-breaking scale, if he even registered on it whatsoever. Yet, his clearence was much higher than his skills should have allowed. At the age of six, he was an assistant overseer of the BOF Doinkometer Complex before the days of the Bureau of Fiction Operations Module. They never told him about his parents, so he began to connect the Fourth Wall to his parents, and his mother in particular, believing that she lived there, amongst the stars. In 2000, though, as if planning for an event for the deep future, an employee- no one knows exactly who -"accidently" left an escape pod unlocked at the end of the day. Lou decided to begin his quest to find his parents. He boarded the Escape Pod and recited the emergency drills always performed in the BOF. Alas, BOF Escape Pods are not navigable. Their purpose is to solely take their occupants to a random place in Antarctica, on the earth, in case of a catastrophic failure in the office. Lou's pod slammed him into Mattress Village. At this time, a penguin his age, named Roslyn, found the pod and Lou. They shared each other's pasts, and Roslyn agreed to help Lou find his parents, since Roslyn's parents were already deceased. Lou managed to hack the Escape Pod and turn it into a navigable space ship. They used this ship to carry them into space, but they only had enough fuel to land on a comet that happened to be passing the earth at this time, bound for the sun. From there, the duo worked together to build a habitable living are and to find Lou's parents. Ten years later For ten years, the Narrator branch- the bureaucracy responsible for the Lou incident -kept Lou's escape silent. Then, conviently, the secret was exposed to Benny right after he was sedated by Mayor McFlapp in order for the bally tern to write an oddball tale. Benny's fury at the Roslyn accident- as well as not being able to find who did it -distracted him and made him forget entirely about the sedatives. Involvement Today, Roslyn lives with Lou, and they float aimlessly in space, looking for Lou's parents. Sadly, they'll never find them. Even worse, since the comet is already passing Saturn, it'll be another hundred years before Lou and Roslyn could return to the earth. By this time, they would have adapted to the near-zero gravity on their home comet. Their ten-year old decision to leave the earth is probably irreversible. The gravity of the earth would bring the two weakened by less force -to their knees (if penguins had knees), and the pressure would likely take thier lives. Trivia * Lou is loosely parodied around the Luma species' (from Super Mario Galaxy I) parentless plight, and their finding solace with Rosalina, Roslyn's parody. * Lou is essentially a twenty year plan, a plot device engineered decades before to initiate an event in a body swap escapade. * Benny needed a new employee for the Department of Machinary, so he actually ordered the death of Lou's parents to make him enter the Bureau. This is one of the many reasons why Benny's power over life and death was stripped from him and handed to Mandy Mortis, Benny's impartial secretary. See also * Planet Lolz * Roslyn * Director_Benny#Attempts_to_remove_Benny_from_office * Phreaky Phriday category:characters category:penguins category:victims of Director Benny Category:Characters